How do you give what you haven't got ?

A huge part of 'growing up' is releasing the expectation that the world should provide, the world should meet me, 'see' me. In growing up, we come to realise that we are the 'world', and it's our job to joyfully provide - it's not up to anyone but us. The world and me are not separate from one another.

In my experience this is a solid orientation that has always taken me out of the victim state when I've really felt it and applied it to my life. It's reoriented me so I no longer see the world as 'happening to me'. It's one way that I have learned to take my life in my hands, one way that I know leads me to reflections that usher me towards being powerful in the way that I wish to be. 

And the other day, I realised that I didn't have the thing I wanted to give. I knew it wasn't up to anyone but me. But I was stumped. How am I supposed to give someone something that I perceive was never given to me? How do I bring something when I have no idea what it even looks like, feels like?

And I saw that this is another way my super sneaky ego is trying to keep me the same. My personality (who I think I am) can't imagine bringing something I don't feel capable of. A small voice can still be heard though, and it says "who I really am might be able to bring it if I just gave it a chance". I saw that in the moment of lack, I could bring my consciousness to the feeling that I don't have it to give, and I could take one small step to bringing it.